Life’s Unconventional Path

My formal education and certifications, including a bachelor’s degree and positive psychology coaches training, are not my primary qualifications for helping others achieve their goals and dreams. Instead, it’s my life experiences and my capacity to connect and empathize with people who are in challenging situations. Having experience with similar situations gives me the confidence to support others to rise and create the life and love they desire.

Embracing the Rebel Within

As a child, my father would call me a rebel, always working against the expected order of things. Little did he realize how the moniker really fit. Soon after, prior to graduating from high school, I learned I was pregnant. Four months after graduation, I was married and three months later became a mother, all before I was 19 years old. Not the traditional course of things for sure. I experienced three significant life milestones in less than a year and all completely out of order. I developed a lot of shame related to my life course. I shied away from divulging my son’s age, my age, and our wedding anniversary in fear of people doing the “math” and judging me for my circumstances.

Navigating Academia as a Non-Traditional Student

At 24, now a mother of two sons, I enrolled in a local university and became what was termed a “non-traditional” student. As a chemistry and secondary education major, I carried a challenging course load and a drive to complete my degree as soon as possible to be able to work and help provide for our family. A few short weeks into my second year at university, I discovered that I was pregnant once again. Attending college as an expectant mother brought back all the shame from my first pregnancy. I was only a few years older than the typical student, and by looking at me, no one saw a married mother of two. I was seen as “that girl that got in trouble.” Boy #3 arrived five days after my last final of the spring semester. After a summer of mothering, it was back to school for me in the fall. Upon my return, I was approached by a classmate who let me know how proud he was of me for returning to school after the birth of my son. Imagine his surprise when I let him know what my situation was. I graduated with an honors degree, in four years. Living life outside of the normal sequence of things seemed to be becoming a practice for me.

The Rollercoaster of Post-Graduate Life

Life after graduating was a series of ups and downs, with financial and relationship challenges aplenty. My husband and I focused on getting by and doing the best for our children, settling into a parallel existence. Each going through the motions but never really connecting to build an emotional relationship. We morphed and changed independently, never touching base to see if we were aligned on even the most basic of things, let alone foundational concepts of hopes, dreams, ethics, and values.

The Awakening and the Unexpected

As our sons grew and became independent, our disconnect became increasingly clear. I knew I wasn’t fulfilled but was determined to make the relationship work because I had made the commitment, and I am true to my word. Some of this comes from being taught from an early age that I am responsible for the decisions I make, to take ownership and accountability for my actions. I lived by the expression “you made your bed now lie in it.” I also envisioned all the years of hard work paying off as I was successful in my career, and the boys were adults in relationships of their own. I saw a happy, calm, rewarding retirement, enjoying the fruits of our labor, the logical next step after raising a family.

Just as I was settling into the resolve that I would accept the life that I had and that the connected, loving, trusting, fulfilling, relationship that I desired was just not for me in this lifetime, the universe decided to change things up, yet again.

The Turning Point

I learned of my husband’s infidelity in an extremely surprising and hurtful way. With this knowledge, a lot of soul-searching, pain, and lengthy conversations with friends, coaches, and therapists, I decided that it was time to make a change. I was leaving a 32-year marriage and living on my own for the first time in my life. I was alone, hurt, angry, betrayed, confused along with a plethora of other emotions.

The Journey to Personal Happiness

My transition occurred over several years, a journey of self-discovery, spiritual awakening, forgiveness (self and others), and learning. There are three things that I attribute to my success on this quest for personal happiness. First and importantly; I got back in touch with my optimistic thinking style. I saw these challenges as opportunities. Not as things that “happened to me” but as a chance to learn something about myself and grow from. Next is my determination; I committed to becoming the best version of myself, persistent in developing my true self. And finally, trust; trust in myself, trust in a bigger purpose for me, trust in my dream of something better, and trust that that dream will be fulfilled.

I won’t say it was easy; there were so many emotions, fears, and disappointments that needed to be faced and worked through. I found a way, a path, to the life I wanted, dreamed of, deserved, the life that I chose.

Sharing the Wisdom

With this experience, knowledge, and a library of tools, I now help others discover and obtain the life they desire.